


Person of Interest

by starlightsongs



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, F/F, Identity, Introspection, Self-Reflection, ah don't expect too much from this it's just a blab really ;;;, go figure, i mayhaps have too much fun with having misaki be a hint-dropper/cryptic, kaoru falls for misaki first CHANGE MY MIND
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 00:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18173639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightsongs/pseuds/starlightsongs
Summary: "It’s okay to be at ease with the side of you that you hide."





	Person of Interest

Kaoru Seta’s heart was pumping, an unnervingly loud throbbing that struck against her chest.

 

_Today’s gonna be fine._

_Just keep up the act._

_You will be alright._

_Think ‘fleeting’._

 

To her, this day did not come with a script, and she’d have to do her best to improvise.

Prove to the audience that she was in fact, someone else!

...Well,

In a way that was different than she normally did.

 

Kaoru had perfected the act of the prince she had so long desired to be. Days upon days memorizing Shakespeare served her well to impress the girls that fawned over her, and her attitude of “it is exactly that” got her out of phrases she didn’t know how to explain. She had successfully charmed many girls at her high school, and just seeing their smiles made her feel accomplished, beloved.

 

An improvement from the loser she used to be.

 

Today’s live show, however, would test all that she’s worked for.

 

Kokoro had suggested they all play while flying on a suspension cord across stage! How could she keep calm about that?

 

Heights scared the living _daylights_ out of her. It was not so much the fear of being up in the sky as it was the fear of falling.

And not solely in the physical sense.

 

The fear of falling from her achievements,

From everything’s she worked for,

And falling out of love

With the person she’s grown to be.

 

 _Today’s gonna be fine_.

 

But how long could she convince herself of that?

Every day was a chance for her to reaffirm her identity, but although she never let anyone know of it, she almost always feared losing it. She was always on the lookout, making sure that her weaknesses and insecurities wouldn’t come back to haunt her when she was least expecting.

 

 _Just keep up the act_.

 

But didn’t every act eventually come to an end scene? Was she even _remotely_ prepared for the day that she’d encounter people like Chisato, and everything that she worked so hard to hide would slip out?

What would happen then, when people would know the true sides to her that she hid?

Would she have anything left, should the act end?

 

 _You will be alright_.

 

Kaoru stared at her hands. Yeah, she’d be alright maybe for today, and the day following, and so on.

But the truth was, she wasn’t always alright.

Everyone loved her, but they loved the act. She knew that the minute the scene ended, they wouldn’t be so interested, and she didn’t know how to handle that.

How much longer did she have to keep pretending she was strong?

 

 _Think ‘fleeting’_.

 

How beautiful of a word it was.

That ultimately expressed her understanding of how short those moments of peace and self-confidence lasted. How one day she’d feel like she had the world in her palms and the next feeling as if nothing mattered at all.

 

Being who she was, right here and right now, felt like the only thing she had left. It was the one thing she grasped onto that made her feel like she was strong and in control. That this time, she would not let herself be pushed around by her insecurities, or anyone else who made her feel inferior.

 

“Hello, Happy World! You all will be on in five minutes, start getting ready!” A backstage staff member with long blue hair came rushing in, her face flushing, and looking exhausted from the exercise.

 

_Ah, perhaps she needs some comfort._

 

Kaoru nodded and winked at her.

“Absolutely, my little kitten. Thank you for the update,”

 

Kaoru felt her heart lift the minute the young girl smiled, blushing and thanking her.

 

Yes, this was what gave Kaoru hope. It was the simple act of making a young girl’s day or putting a smile on her face that kept her going when times got tough. It was the type of affection she had once craved, but often it felt more rewarding to give it, rather than receive.

 

She inhaled and tried to think more uplifting thoughts.

 

Today she’d have to be fine.

She was going to fly.

And there was no way of her falling.

She was sure of it.

Well...she had no choice but to be!

 

“...Kaoru-san?”

 

A voice from a familiar figure snapped her out of her trance. She looked up to see her dark-haired bandmate hovering over her.

 

“Hey, listen. I know I have to get ready soon. I... just wanted to know if you’re alright,” Misaki commented, a pained expression forming on her face as sweat dripped from her forehead.

 

 _She’s not normally around with us backstage so close to call time_.

 

Kaoru raised an eyebrow, surprised by her presence and attentiveness.

 

“Don’t worry about me little kitten, I’m going to fly today~” Kaoru stated nonchalantly, shrugging her arms as she held her hands out. Misaki rolled her eyes in response.

 

“Yeah, yeah whatever you say. Just don’t look down, okay?” Misaki replied, her voice tone stern but her facial expression still showing of concern.

 

_Ah, looking out for me. What a sweet, but reluctantly so, little kitten she is._

 

“Misaki - I know that you’re concerned for my well-being. But darling, everything is going to be...fleeting,” Kaoru reassured, aiming to keep her voice tone as steady as possible. Misaki frowned to that.

 

_...Did she detect it?_

_Were my words not sturdy enough_?

 

The dark-haired girl opened her mouth up to say something but then turned to look at her watch.

“Ah, shit! I gotta get ready!”

 

Kaoru didn’t know what business she could possibly be attending to, but refrained from questioning her about it.

 

Misaki started to head off in the other direction before stopping and turning around again to face Kaoru.

 

“Hey, Kaoru-san?”

Kaoru looked up, her ears listening intently to hear of the other girl’s concerns.

 

“I...I get it, you know. The need to maintain an image,” Misaki started, her voice tone shaky as she delivered. She cleared her throat before continuing.

 

“I just...think you should know that it’s okay to be at ease with the side of you that you hide.”

 

The girl immediately stopped after that, seeming embarrassed by the phrase the uttered and almost surprised at herself.

 

Kaoru tried not to chuckle as she saw the self-assured girl’s face turn red.

Rather, she tried to focus on that more than the meaning behind the words that had been uttered.

 

It was as if Misaki knew.

 

 _It’s okay to be at ease with the side of you that you hide_.

 

All of this time, Kaoru had taken measures to ensure that no one in Hello, Happy! would figure it out or even suspect of it. Yet, Misaki had already done so, in less than a year of all of them knowing each other.

 

Her head was spinning in circles, how was she supposed to respond to that?

 

She desperately wanted to respond “I don’t know what you mean by that” or “Nonsense!” but the younger one had already disappeared from her view.

 

It was as if all of her exercises to help calm her down had lost their effect, for her heart was pounding for a multitude of reasons.

 

 _Three_.

She’d be on suspension cables flying across the stage, battling her fear of heights throughout a two-hour long performance.

 

 _Two_.

Misaki’s words hit close to home, reminding her of the parts to her identity that she hides. She is afraid that Misaki knows more about her than she expects.

 

 _One_.

She...doesn’t feel bothered by this.

And suddenly just wants to tell Misaki everything. All of her secrets, in full, to the intelligent and beautiful young girl who...held more to her character than Kaoru would have ever expected.

 

“It’s showtime!” Kokoro yelled, her voice ringing across the dressing room.

 

 _Showtime_.

 

Kaoru grabbed her guitar and did her best to clear hear head in the moment, keeping on a brave face as they all walked out onto the stage.

 

She needed this show to go by as quick as possible.

Because the minute it ended,

She needed to answer her heart’s newly-discovered begging -

And talk to this

person of interest.


End file.
